This week I received one of those credit card offers with a postage-paid return envelope. I find these annoying. But fortunately, on the same day I received a huge batch of ValPak coupons. I took half of the coupons and stuffed them into the envelope, sealed it with several layers of tape, and sent it to the credit card company. Now they can pay the $2.00 or whatever in return postage for no reason.

But that's not as good as what a friend did. In response to a similar offer to his girlfriend, he wrote a note: "If you send me junk mail, I will send you junk mail. Enclosed is a partially eaten slice of cheese."

The return envelope, cheese and all, went back. Hopefully the credit card company has some toast to put it on.