Yesterday on "30 Minute Meals," Rachael Ray made shepherd's pie. When I realized she was making that, I kept watching, hoping I could pick up a nice shortcut to a good dinner option.

Forget it. To squeeze the recipe into the short time slot, Rachael was scampering around the kitchen gathering dozens of utensils, tools and ingredients, including all kinds of obscure herbs I just don't happen to have on hand.

Thirty minutes--or even less, as described in those pervasive subway ads touting supposedly easy dinner recipes in a new food magazine--is highly misleading. That doesn't count the time you have to go to the supermarket, figure out where the ingredients are, wait on line, check out, and come back home. I mean, who really keeps a constant stock of pine nuts?

There should be a Manhattan edition of "30 Minute Meals." It would be something like this:

1) Locate and open folder of takeout menus.
2) Call Hunan Park.
3) Order wonton soup and chicken with broccoli.
4) Wait for delivery.
5) Pay delivery person. Eat.