I switched to Verizon Wireless two months ago, but yesterday I had to call AT&T Wireless (now Cingular) on behalf of someone else. I was excited to see that the call center software has been reprogrammed to demand segmented inquiries even more strongly.

But there's still an escape: press zero 9 or 10 times, and then wait for a brief pause before you hear "We seem to be having trouble. Let me route your call to the next representative."

When it comes to dialing a number for the category of your question, I don't think I have done that in four or five years. I don't care that menu options have just changed (whose hasn't?). I don't have 5 minutes to listen to the new menu options; I'd like my question to be answered. Common sense and experience tell me that, at the end of the day, most representatives can handle most questions. They're sitting in front of a computer with just about all of your account information and customer service history. As a result, I find that it's best just to press zero as much as necessary to break out of the system and be routed to a real person.

I particularly love when companies ask you to punch in your account or phone number and billing ZIP code, but then they have to ask you for it again.

What's the reason for this? Companies aren't stupid (usually). These systems are designed by high-priced consultants with reams of data on consumer behavior. I think that many companies make a calculated attempt to make the call center experience just a little bit aggravating. Calls are expensive--on the order of $20 per inquiry versus much lower costs for e-mail or self-service.

What else could explain the scratchy hold music used by AT&T Wireless for so long (they've changed it now), or the excruciating new age nebulae used by Circuit City? It appears that the optimal level of service is not perfectly fast and efficient (which would set up too strong an incentive for customers and would sack companies with high customer service costs), but rather right on a line between effective and aggravating. Too aggravating, and nobody receives the sufficient level of service required to retain them as a customer; too fast, and people may call too much.

Sometimes it's useful, though. Whenever I need to place a test call using a new cell or landline phone, I call Delta Airlines (1-800-221-1212). You're guaranteed a fair amount of time before someone answers.